An end to this blog…
Posted by Mike on October 13, 2014
So, I’ve been realizing that the Mike’s Prattle blog has been virtually neglected for a while and I’d been waiting some time to see if I wanted to continue it. It’s really kind of a strange journey this has taken, it started out as a vehicle to talk about books and sometimes about music and then it became a vehicle to discuss incense. This part of it did really well and became it’s own blog (Olfactory Rescue Service) and then somewhere along the line it became a Golden Dawn blog. Sort of.
And then a lot of things happened in my life that got harder and harder to post about. I started thinking of the Golden Dawn more as a group thing and after some progress with the work began to feel very strongly that the system wasn’t well adapted to “self-initiation” or independent work and felt that many in the community probably agreed at least to some extent. For a while I thought maybe I could elaborate upon this and present my findings, but then I found a new teacher in a completely unique spiritual paradigm and began work with him and my progress really leaped forward, but in doing so I went from an information-heavy system to something that really wasn’t so much about information. I also began to realize that sometimes we are drawn to things because of certain triggers and I know the self-initiation/temple initiation duality of the Golden Dawn was triggering something uncomfortable in terms of belonging or a need to be part of something. At the same time, my progress has really not been about judgment at all, and thus fairly quickly I realized I didn’t want to leave behind anything that might seem like I was rejecting it or angry or anything else (and the issues were worked through anyway). Quite frankly the few people associated with the Golden Dawn that I discussed the subject and my progress with were kind and helpful with their time.
And so I moved on, not from scratch though, I felt the new system really picked off where self initiation probably couldn’t go. I’m not sure my teacher would agree with it in the slightest, but I noticed after about a year in, that there was a whole area of his work that he didn’t apply to me even though it was clear many of his students were working with that part. And so one day I was curious about why it was left out and he told me “I didn’t think you needed the mental stuff.” Given the strange experience or initiation I experienced in 2011, I found this to be numinous and graceful.
I think anyone in any spiritual discipline of some practicality would of course sing its praises and I’m no different on that account short of privacy. When I started with my teacher in September 2012, I was pretty much rock bottom. By the end of the year I was functional again. I hadn’t left behind what I experienced, I had just healed enough to see where I was with it. Those dragons or serpents in The Garden of Eden after the fall are very real. And in many ways things have actually been more challenging as time has gone by, it’s just that learning a couple very effective tools has allowed me to embrace the challenges and release the triggers rather than fearing them. But of course the person who would have wanted to share these experiences many years ago isn’t really in the same spot anymore. I am genuinely at peace. This, strangely enough, means less blogging or writing.
And so I’m convinced that if I do need to write or blog again, that it will be in a new forum. I’ll leave this blog up for what it is, there’s no reason to take it down. I thank all the readers over the years whatever reason you came from. I’m also hugely glad to close something with such a dumb blog name, but hey I came from a band who used to argue about what name to call ourselves for hours. 🙂 I may even change the name of my art gallery except that I think leaving it with the name is a tribute to a great thing, it is something that changed me greatly and eventually led me to where I could finally heal.
And this will be final entry for Mike’s Prattle. Thanks to all who read this and added me to your blogrolls. Love and Light – Mike.