Mike’s Prattle



Posted by Mike on January 3, 2012

About a year ago, or maybe a year and a half, I remember a person who reviewed incenses and previous to that music and wanted to write about everything. Writing is communication and thus a Mercurian activity and for me a lot of that went away around September. Even sitting here typing this I’m not really sure what’s left to say (and this doesn’t count almost a half dozen unfinished drafts over the last few months). A few weeks ago my home computer followed my soul and went up in a scent of burnt fuses and for the first time since the home computer I found I didn’t care all that much except for its use as a quick research tool. I do hope to replace it in the next month or two, but at that point it will be really difficult to tell where I’m at. My Mercurian brain can’t live without a computer but my Venusian brain couldn’t care less and it’s in dominance right now.

2011 was extremely brutal for me. Computers, fender benders, tremendous emotional difficulty and other things were run of the mill and almost shocking in frequency and only a small part of the story. Since my experience on September 25th the move from Hod to Netzach has more or less completely upset my previous personality to the point where I’m concentrating more on individuating, and feeling like I have a personality in transition is making it difficult to make judgement calls on what to do with difficult situations.

Alchemists call this process nigredo, in the GD this process is more or less the outer school and elemental work. You really have no idea how bad this is going to suck until it really sucks. I thought I knew pain and heartbreak but I honestly had no idea, previous examples of both in my life have almost been mild in comparison. The spiritual experience of Malkuth is amazing and that of Netzach even more amazing, but both hint terribly at what’s missing. We’ve been conditioned from so early to seek for the profound on the outside and even once we find it on the inside, we continue to seek for it on the outside, continuing to struggle to find some recognizable analog to this thing waking up inside us whose reach is so incomprehensible and vast.

On the other hand this same thing waking up seems to have turned me into something of an artist (I’m always reminded of how it’s mentioned that the Practicus grade opens up hidden creative potential). I started painting (and marking and drawing and whatever) in September and in the last week of 2011 I set a goal to complete 30 pieces of artwork (I think I was around 25 or so) and made the goal on the 31st. I hope to eventually get pictures of these up, but the last five that weren’t related to another project were all 17 by 14s and one of them I think is my best to date. They’re almost getting too big to tote around at least in frames.

People are really responding positively to the work but are always asking me where I show them or what I want to do with the art and I always say something like I’ve only been doing this for a four months and honestly have no idea how to take the private public or if I even want to do that. The closest style is visionary art (which is maybe the most common style when the occult meets the psychedelic), but I guess I think of it more as initiated art in that most of my pieces are directly related to the GD transformational process and the wisdom clothed within symbols. What looks like water and fire and triangles and symbols are all veiled descriptions of psychological and spiritual processes and I’m constantly amazed how some of these maps are emerging unplanned out of certain artistic techniques.

Anyway that’s about as much as I can say about where I’m at, the art speaks to all of this quite a bit better. But I did want to explain a little about all this because I think things could get even more difficult before it all gets better.


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