Of all the things that have had to go bye-bye on the path, I’m perhaps the most surprised about releasing caffeine. It wasn’t even close to the hardest thing to let go of, in fact there were things before it that were harder or more psychological. But I’d say in about less than a week my health improved rapidly on a number of fronts. I wasn’t even the guy who would drink five cups of coffee every morning, one was certainly enough, but it only took a week to feel remarkably better on all accounts. At times it even feels like endorphins are being released as a result, but that’s probably just the sun coming out, the weather here has been incredibly beautiful.
Anyway I’m musing over this stuff lately as I’m reading a biography of an occultist and it is full of drug and alcohol abuse, with the idea that some supposedly high level magicians were also alcoholics, which is something I’m finding difficult to believe in any way. It’s not that I don’t understand that drugs, especially psychedelics, have been gateways of a sort to people questing for their spiritual path, but to maintain these types of habits in a paradigm where the release and healing of shadow elements is of the utmost importance seems to me to be virtually impossible, at the very least it would impede any major progress. It would seem to me that addiction issues are among the most major to be faced when one is attempting to purify one’s inner temple and in my experience most alcoholics can’t even get by on a day to day basis filled with mundane tasks let alone attempt the Great Work in any useful fashion.
Of course on the other hand there are stories of fist fights and violence, others of again supposedly high level magicians who clearly haven’t purified their emotional damage and who act out in childish and immature ways and of course some of these stories end up with people who think they own any particularly initiation current and who alienate others in the quest to control things. And once again I’m left thinking, why haven’t these control issues been faced at all? These kinds of things are just ego games and with these “need to control” issues in place, it’s not really a surprise that at times an occult current is the thing that the ego wishes to control. As if it’s a good idea to adapt the system to our needs rather than we adapting to the system. The system itself then becomes a matter of pride rather than enlightenment and instead of moving to a level where we understand that it’s the ego that is taking slights personally and move away from that, the damage then spreads to an entire group.
Constant bickering in the end is just a hallmark of where things go wrong. It’s a great indication that there is still at least a lot of unresolved mental chattering going on, that the system is still only being appraised (at best) on the mental/thought level rather than that which is above and beyond this. Inner peace is never a matter of people drawing swords over details, it is having a connection to something that ends up making all of that seem awfully silly.